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 Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency!!!!

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Jimbob_Rebel

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Posts : 408
Join date : 2008-03-12

PostSubject: Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency!!!!   Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:58 am

Outsourced to India....!!!

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency


Washington, DC -- Congress today announced that the office of
President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India
as of August 1, 2008. The move is being made in order to save the
President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in
deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred
during the last 5 years. It is anticipated that $231 billion can be
saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise
financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas
Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with
the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai , India will assume the
office of President as of September 1, 2008. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive
a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other
benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer
call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am
excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A
Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with
the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses,
he can address common concerns without having to understand the
underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated
the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for
years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what
he was talking about."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately
he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits
will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower,
Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job
transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in
securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work
experience during his lifetime. A greeter position at Wal-Mart was
suggested due to Bush's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well
as his special smile.
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