The Amish Farmer

An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down
And drinking from his farm pond.
The Amish farmer shouts:
'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.'

(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.')

The kneeling man shouts back:
'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If
you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak in English.'

The Amish farmer says:
'Use two hands, you'll get more.'